These Scars Are Deeper Than They Seem

Love. What is Love ? Love in the Oxford dictionary is defined as having a strong feeling of affection towards someone. Its is definitely a feeling that everyone has experienced, no matter how much or how little. Love is a feeling that everyone yearns for. They want, to love, to be loved and the list just goes on. But how can this feeling be quantified ? Some people seem to be so casual with it, yet others get distraught over a failed relationship. Yet this feeling is often only described with a single word regardless of its so called intensity. There is no I lover her, nor is there a I lovest her.

To me, love is feeling that takes time to sink in. Thus the phrase love at first sight is total bullcrap to me. Love to me is a sense of responsibility, a place where you have to put yourself no matter the situation, to think about the other half before yourself. So often whenever we are overwhelmed by the shit the world gives us we build up walls to keep people out. We then forget that these people who are so close to our hearts are locked out too. How would that make them feel ?

Lately, I feel like a total mess. My perfect world seem to have made a 180 degrees turn, spinning everything upside down, mixing all these different problems and feelings inside out. I made the mistake of building walls up, thinking I need space, I need some time to be away. I only focused on the I, me, myself that i failed to see how much my actions were hurting her. How these problems that i am facing are also affecting her too. I mean, how could I have been so selfish yet I tell her everyday that I love her.

I think I need a new perspective to what love means. I need to start appreciating the things I have instead of focusing on what I don't have. I need to do something before it's too late. So.. What is Love ?

When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I
Psalm 61:2

Its been so long since i last been here. So many memories flood my mind as i look back at all my previous post. Two years have past, so many things have changed. Yet once again i find myself back here. I promised myself that i will never post any emo or sad things on this blog. But heck, no one comes here anymore :) this shall be my little rant corner now :D

Recently, i had to make a really tough decision. In my opinion i really think that it has gone too far, but there was really no other way. No one will understand how i really feel about it. Even if people were willing to listen, i really doubt they will understand. No matter how i see it, i am the one that is at the losing end. Both are important to me, but yet.. From now on, things will never be the same again. In fact things have already started changing. Opinions are such a bitch~ Gah !! Why am i even talking to myself. Guess this is the part where i will disappear again :P

till next time :D

I guess my post abt aus is getting really draggy. So i will just wrap it uo with a really brief post. Basically the 2nd and 3rd daywe went to movie world and dream world respectively. The rides there were rather thrilling andfun However, i think tt we would hav had a better time if there wasnt any rain. But then again its not everyday you gt to ride on rides in the rain. so i guess its a diff experience all together. The next day we went to ctach wabbies(erm smth like crayfish but smaller) and crabs. then we used the live wabbies as bait for fish. Tt evening we went to gold coast's surfer's paradise beach for a swim. the waves in the pacific ocean was just awesome, in sg you can nvr gt waves tt big. The following day we went over to asia's biggest tropical fruit farm. i guess the main highlight of the trip was being able to crack raw macadamias and eating them on the spot. thereafter, we went to a factory outlet for a shopping spree. tt really sums up my trip. ireally hope someday i will be able to visit australia again :D someday.. haha

Everyday~ Its You I Live For~

Hello ! I am back from church camp ler. Had a really great time there. Ok wait, great is an understatement, it was AWESOME !!! :D Yea, finally after attending church for like 16 years of my life, i actually gt to know ppl from youth. Haha. Well, i guess it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be, treading into new territories. I know i really benifited from this camp, through all the sermons and lessons learnt. Now i know i really want to be serious in my relationship with God. In doing so i must press on and be consistant. Yesterday, it was really really awesome so see all those ppl being touched by God/Holy Spirit. I was included, i guess. Haha. Its really a feeling tt can only be felt and not discribed. Really glad i attended the camp. i really look forward to the one next year :D